I am thrilled that my dear colleagues, Stefan and Sim, took part in the TIFF provider licensing training, which I co-facilitated with Lieuwe Koopmans in Cape Town this year. This means that CIELARKO has become even stronger in supporting clients to develop Functional Fluency – the art and skill of interpersonal effectiveness. We all need this to get from merely surviving to positively thriving at work and in all areas of our lives!
What I liked most about our 2019 training group was that it was small and diverse. Sally Redshaw, Jeremy Maarman, Simphiwe Mahlanyana and Stefan Graebe brought together a wealth of personal and professional experience from different spaces and cultures. Africa met Europe, the corporate world met the non-profit world, youth development met executive coaching, … The discussions were inspiring and learning happened on a very deep level.
As we continue to bond, learn, and have fun together as a team, we are setting intentions and making commitments to use Functional Fluency (the model) and TIFF (the online tool) in organisations and communities to develop empowered, empowering leadership and healthy relationships between people.
I really love seeing the seeds of this work grow and I look forward to including new clients and new TIFF trainees into our work and our lives in the future.
Layo Seriki (September 2019)
This is what Alex van Oostveen, a Cape Town based coach, supervisor and licensed TIFF provider, has to say about Supervision with Lieuwe Koopmans:
“I met Lieuwe in 2016 when I did my TIFF (Temple Index of Functional Fluency) training in South Africa. Two things immediately struck me about him, he knows what he is talking about and he is a gentle, powerful practitioner.
In June 2019 I did a day-long supervision workshop with Lieuwe and TIFF colleague Layo Seriki. We were profoundly struck by the impact this work had on each of us, personally and professionally. I want to share in this experience with you all again, on 24 August 2019.
I am one who feels safe with a plan and was challenged learning that there was no specific agenda for our day together last June. Part of the experience, and my learning was that a set structure was not necessary for effective work to happen. We co-created how we would work together and ended up doing a cascade-style set of supervision sessions on the key cases we had identified for the day.
Lieuwe is a master of his craft, working in a relational style and using transactional analysis as a tool to round off the learning once the personal work has been done.
If you are interested in learning more about yourself, how to transform your relationship with clients, and about supervision, I recommend this Supervision workshop to you.”
Date: 24 August 2019
Venue: 8 Rusten Close, Marina Da Gama
Investment: R 1,650.00
Click here for bookings or more information.
After attending Module 1 of the TIFF Provider Licensing Training in May 2019, I have noticed a surprising change in the way I think, feel and do things. I have become more aware about my thoughts, feelings and actions and how these affect those around me, either positively or negatively. In my work with people, I am becoming less reactive and more engaging – especially when it comes to difficult situations. It’s pretty amazing how only 3 days of training would have such a positive impact; a positive change; and a positive response to life generally.
As part of the TIFF training Module 1, we looked, in detail, at the Functional Fluency model (defined as – a model for understanding how people behave, and a practical framework to help them ‘respond’ more and ‘react’ less) and how it works. This is one of the best and useful tools to use when working with people. As I work with people on a daily basis, I sometimes find myself between dominating people and at the same time giving in just to make peace. Understanding and using Functional Fluency makes you reflect and make adjustments for the benefit of self and others. Being aware of your interpersonal relationships is key – knowing how people relate to you and how you relate to them. Once you can identify your behaviours (positive and negative), it becomes easy to adapt to any situation in order to make communication effective, and for things to go on as smooth and efficient.
In closing, I am much more grounded now than before beginning the training. The more I feel, think and affirm myself about how great I am, the more I give that energy to my friends, family and all my interpersonal encounters. I feel good. I am happy. I am definitely alert.
In celebrating 11 years as CIELARKO, we have updated our logo to give it a stronger and more focussed look. We are proud and grateful to have grown into CIELARKO Coaching & Consulting, supporting our clients – individuals, teams and organisations – in their growth. Thanks to everyone who has been part of our journey so far. Let’s stay in touch.
In her article published in the August edition of Leadership Magazine, Layo reflects on the possibilities of turning the world around – with women in the lead. Enjoy reading the full article here.
For those interested in further exploring female power, Layo Seriki and Linda Hennings (Forging Ahead) are offering a workshop with horses for women who lead in completely different spheres of life. Have a look here for more information on this workshop, planned for November 2018.
On Friday, 13th and Saturday, 14th July 2018 Karen Pratt (TSTA Education and Founder of TA Matters) introduced a group of 10 professionals (including myself) to Transactional Analysis (TA) language and tools which we can use in our daily and professional lives. For a few months, I’d been exposed to TA through working at CIELARKO. However, I was mainly involved as an admin person who did not fully understand the TA terms and language. And now, after having gone through the TA 101 with Karen, I feel empowered that I will start reading TA materials with appreciation, understanding, meaning and attachment.
One tool that stood out the most for me was ‘Life Positions’ (Windows of the World). This model describes our attitudes to ourselves and others, and a respect for our common humanity. It has four views that represent fundamental stances a person takes up about the essential value he perceives in himself and others. The views are briefly explained below:
- I’m OK, You’re OK – when I look at the world through this window, I view myself as valuable to self and others, and good to have around.
- I’m not OK, You’re OK – when I look at the world through this window, I see myself as a victim and not as good as others.
- I’m OK, You’re not OK – when I look at the world through this window, I see myself as better than others. I have a negative perception of others and my actions therefore put others down.
- I’m not OK, You’re not OK – when I look at the world through this window, I believe I am no good, no one else is either and that life is full of despair. I will live and experience rejection throughout my life.
One specific example I can think of where I was looking at the world with the view “I’m OK, You’re not OK” is my experience a few weeks ago with a Grade 6 pupil I teach Xhosa. The learner did not bring their Xhosa book to my lesson and we were running late already. The learner came to me and said “Sorry Sir, I did not bring my Xhosa book, can I use scrap paper?” I responded aggressively to the learner and said, with hostility, “Why do you ask me such a question when you know right well you are coming to my Xhosa lesson? Do you still want to continue learning the language?” My assumption was that she did not want to learn and this class is generally difficult anyway. The learner ran out of the room and went to fetch her book. She returned and I felt tension between us in the next few weeks. This one learner confirmed my view about the class being not OK and I was triggered into reacting automatically. Now that I am empowered with this tool, I could have easily changed my attitude and response. I could have looked through the “I’m OK, You’re OK” window, seen these 12 to 13 year-olds with their strengths and challenges, and responded “It is your responsibility to bring your Xhosa book in all my lessons, so I suggest you go and get it while I continue with my planned lesson.” I would be OK, owning my responsibility as a teacher, and she would be OK and able to take her responsibility as a learner in the situation.
Our two days at the TA 101 were filled with so many honest reflections and wisdom both from Karen and attending participants. Karen’s passion about TA made her a natural in helping us understand the new tools and language. She held the space with power of freedom and inviting firmness. I look forward to adapting and changing some of my behaviours in my work, at home, with friends, … to improve my interpersonal skills. I feel empowered, inspired, free and ready to use some of the TA models and tools.
Layo contributed to the February 2018 edition of the Leadership magazine discussing the difference between Supreme and Effective leaders and how we can either empower or dis-empower the people we lead. She used Star Wars (the movie) as reference to discuss the differences in these leadership styles. The article is available here.
Posted in March 2018.
‘Follow the leader’ article in the Directorship magazine by Rodney Weidemann explores the critical attributes differentiating a leader from a boss.
Layo discusses the use of the Functional Fluency model to develop future leaders. To view the whole article, click here.
Posted in November 2017.